Morgan
I have A.M. Hargrove, the author of Dark Waltz, here today for a guest post!
Looking Back on 2012
I learned years ago that new year’s resolutions were a waste of my time. What I learned instead, was to reflect on what the former year brought me and to change the bad, improve the good, and move on. 2012 was a game changer for me.
It started out full of promise. I was now a full time author, committed to this new adventure and fully immersed in this role. I couldn’t believe how much I loved it.
Then my husband and I went on our annual ski trip to Vail. I never dreamed that one fall could have such a dramatic effect on my life. I don’t remember the before. I do remember the sound of my head hitting the ground. It was a powder day and Blue Sky Basin was blanketed in a heavy white comforter of the stuff. One minute I was following my hubs and the next I heard this loud crack. The first thought that ran through my head was that I would have to get a new helmet, ‘cause this one for sure was busted in half. Everything turned grey. The azure sky faded away as I furiously blinked my eyes, trying to pull it together. When I was able to sit up, I unhooked my helmet and to my surprise, it came off in one piece. But now my head was throbbing. Really throbbing. I knew I needed to get the hell out of there, so on wobbly legs, I forced myself to stand and headed down the mountain. Now, I don’t remember skiing to my husband, but I do remember him asking me what took me so long. One look from him and I knew I didn’t look so good.
“Can you ski?” he wanted to know.
“Oh sure,” I answered. I really thought it would pass in a few minutes. I’d fallen and been injured skiing and playing sports many times over the years, so I thought it would dissipate.
“Well,” he said, “Let’s head to the front side of the mountain just in case.”
If you’ve ever been to Vail, we were at the farthest point, in the back bowls, that you could possibly be. So off we went. I don’t remember skiing that part at all.
Then, no pun intended here, things went downhill from there. When we got to the top of the front side of the mountain…again, I have no memory of getting there now…I think I told my husband I was feeling bad, because the next thing I remember was sitting in the ski patrol office. They were great. They took me down the mountain straight to an ambulance and I was in the hospital in no time flat. Well, not really because that ride down that mountain on that sled was FREEZING and bumpy and my head was killing me…yeah, I remember that part. But the ski patrol guys were awesome. It was a four mile run, down the mountain on that sled (I know because I’ve done it many times on my own skis and some of it’s a black run), but those guys were great.
I had a CT scan and everything was fine. I had sustained a severe concussion when I fell…good thing I ski in a helmet, huh? A concussion at altitude isn’t good…can make you feel ten times worse than one at normal elevations so I’m told. I believe it.
Well…the story doesn’t end there. A month later, I’m at home with my hubs. It’s around seven in the evening and all’s well when I start to feel bad. Now, I just want to say something here. I don’t ever get the stomach bug. Ever. Okay, maybe I’ve had it twice in my life. No kidding. Just don’t get that stuff. Anyway, I’m sitting at home and start to feel sick. My head starts hurting…like it did when I got the concussion. Like someone has just hit me in the back of the head with a baseball bat. Then my stomach does this number on me and here’s where it really gets weird…the next thing I recall, it’s three a.m. and I’m in the emergency room. I have no idea how I got there, but there is some maniac with a jackhammer inside of my skull that won’t leave my head alone.
I look at my hubs and ask, “Where am I?”
“In the ER.”
“Okay. What’s going on?”
He proceeds to explain that I get sick, go lay down and and hour later I don’t know my name, where I am…nothing. I have amnesia. He freaks out and takes me to the ER, where I’m there for four hours until I finally start realizing what’s going on.
Two days, two MRI’s, MRA, another CT scan, carotid ultrasound, echocardiogram, EKG, EEG, and everything else in between, I’m diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome and transient global amnesia, resulting in severe migraines that I’m still dealing with. Okaaaaaay. My attitude is that it could’ve been worse…way worse. Like along those lines I’d been thinking when I realized I was in the ER and didn’t remember going there. Really scary.
So looking back on 2012, I have to say I’m blessed beyond belief. I’m doing this thing called writing that I absolutely love and I am SO thankful to be able to do this. I’ve never worked so hard and for so many hours at something in my life (and this is coming from someone who worked for corporate America, where they tend to squeeze blood out of a rock). I am so grateful to all the wonderful fans who read my books and follow me. I love you guys! I’m grateful for my health…I’ll deal with the migraines and the issues from the fall. Compared to many other people, I have it made and I am SO appreciative of what I have! My family is happy and healthy so what else can I ask for?
My goals for 2013 are to continue to write and stretch my boundaries. I pushed beyond YA and into Adult in 2012 and I will continue to do things that force me out of my comfort zone, because only then will I grow as a writer. Thanks to all my fans that have made this writing thing a possibility for me. If it weren’t for you all out there, pushing my limits wouldn’t even be one of my goals…so thanks from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to pursue my dream!
I have tons of personal goals too, but I won’t bore you with those. I would like to wish each of you a safe, and healthy year ahead and I hope all your dreams come true!